Recent unusable metaphors.

  • a dildo-stegosaurus
  • a refillable gas-station soda cup of dreams
  • the pompous soundtrack of our times
  • a self-centered dinosaur of modern life
  • a book of misunderstanding
  • his face fell, as if on purpose
  • she smiled warmishly, like a sudden hit of intense sunshine on the diamond slopes
  • the boy moved nervously, like a trumpet player with no front teeth
  • the throng ambled on like a stubborn centipede
  • her laughter rang out like a church bell surprised in the act of showering
  • he fell from grace elegantly, like a caught pinecone
  • her manner reminded him of something a st. bernard might be required to save an uncautious hiker from
  • he sharpened his mental guardhairs
  • he hoped against hope against hope
  • his ice melted, leaving him a soggy success
  • he wished upon a star, no, a low-flying learjet
  • an apple a day was insufficient, the bills still came
  • it turns out it was nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, at least the gambling archers thought so
  • he basically failed the acid test
  • the wheat situation forced him to act against the grain
  • tragically, all hell failed to break loose
  • the geometrician fell back to square n.
  • he fell to the unmistakable conclusion that bakers were not to be envied in their math skills
  • she had what could be considered a ballpark figure, in that she was as wide as she was tall
  • he realized he was barking up the wrong tree when the clawmarks outnumbered the berries
  • the pastry theif bolted, beating a tasty retreat
  • she bent over backwards to please him, and forwards too
  • blood is thicker than water, but not in Utah
  • she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, and a tongue to match
  • and on he marched, into the cowardly old world of his mind
  • having broken the bank at the tables, he was rapidly repairing it
  • he brought home the bacon, only to find that it had gone bad
  • hell came, then the dams broke
  • the infection cost him an arm and a leg, and the treatment was expensive too
  • he covered his ass as if he were reaching for the grounded soap
  • in his moment of temptation he decided discretion was the better part of valor, and yearned for the worse
  • he gave the gift-horse a solid flossing
  • he crossed the i’s and dotted the t’s
  • he drew the line at that, and then another
  • he was dressed to at least the nines, by his own reckoning
  • he found that the silver lining could be harvested and sold
  • he turned to face the music and neglected the crowd
  • the car salesman was nothing if not fair and vaguely cubic
  • she was the flavor of the month, and a little saucy for february
  • his behavior flew in the face of his upbringing like a flock of fat, angry and confused ducks seeking bread crumbs
  • he was caught half-monty
  • his life was down to brass tacks, then tin, then alluminum
  • he got out of the wrong side of the wrong bed
  • he gave her the willies, but kept the bobs
  • she went back to the drawing-board with a paintbrush in hand
  • she went for broke and got it
  • Shoes McLambert and the Goody Two (Band Name)
  • after the divorce, she considered that she had a bone to pick clean with her ex
  • he had a few tricks up his sleeves, his socks were lumpy with mischief
  • Hell hath no woman like a furry scorned
  • it turned out that hope sprang temporarily
  • In his heart of hearts, there was no ace
  • To show his true colors was to uncover a greenish hue
  • It took the limelight to even out his skin tone
  • the Revolvers (Band) were breaking it down with the Joneses
  • he killed the golden goose, then stomped out the eggs
  • the chef left no stone unturned, and no hamburger either
  • he lived to not fight another day
  • she was long in the tooth and longer in the wind
  • he was mad as a march, or even an april, hare
  • he made her blood boil and her sweat freeze
  • the sound made her hair stand on beginning
  • there was a method to his sanity that his madness envied
  • there was milk in the land, but the bees were on strike
  • if his math was correct, his number was up
  • he went off the beaten path and onto the happily married, if bored, one
  • the pot farmer gave new meaning to being on one’s high horse
  • he was on the right track in wrong race
  • she plainly played her cards close to her chest, as did any other bridge enthusiasts in her vicinity
  • over the years, the ground was sowed with the salt of the earth
  • he was trying to save for a rainy day, but often settled for a shower
  • he stole the other man’s thunder like Odin reprimanding Thor
  • he stuck to his guns, she to her arrows
  • he threw his hat into the ring, and was horrified to discover that it wouldn’t be returned
  • she was under the weather, as are we all
  • it was as if the people of new york city were still waiting in vain for the cows to come home
  • he wore his heart on his sleeve and his appendix on his belt
  • the writing was on the floor, so he stood on the wall
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