An Unrivaled Brilliance: Or, Catholic School Graduation

Read. Now. : THIS, NOW. Catholics going to a sexpo is a great idea. They will either shun it, or embrace it to a level that few have in the history of sexpo(s?).… Continue reading

Guitars and the Short-Circuiting of Evolution.

Guitars. We all love them, they help some people to make terrific music, some people to make mediocre music, and some people to make simply awful noise. There’s a mystery and mystique surrounding… Continue reading

On Internetlessness, Summertime, and Girls With Pink Highlights.

Bad, good, very good. The end. Oh, I’m not going to get away with that? Ok. Thanks to a combination of just having moved and being intensely broke, the internet is not being… Continue reading

On a serious note…

A 23 year-old man in my town died yesterday when a sparkler bomb ignited prematurely near a propane tank.┬áMy condolences to his friends and family, and my apologies for making light of firework… Continue reading

A Pyromaniac’s List of the Top 10 Fireworks For July 4.

Disclaimer: Mancinian Times, it’s author,, and anyone that we link to do not condone the use of fireworks in any way. In any legally binding way. Especially, you shouldn’t use them to… Continue reading

Oops, my bad.

I have seen the light. After reading this argument, I believe my position as an atheist to be untenable. I am now a chiquitaist.

Atheism, and Why I Have it.

I am an atheist. I believe that there is no god. I do not capitalize the word “god”. I do not believe this because terrible things have happened to me. I do not… Continue reading

Blessed are They That Believe That They are Blessed.

You can cage a swallow, can’t you? Parents love to have children. First ladies rule the state and state the rule: “Ladies First”! Children have to love parents. You can’t swallow a cage,… Continue reading

My Precognitive Abilities Aren’t What I Once Thought They’d Be.

Last Thursday was the wrong time to buy stock. I invested the available 25 million dollars of my fake money on fantasy stock exchange, using the clever strategy of spreading it out between… Continue reading

With Phrases Like “traumatic insemination”, How Can You Miss?